She needs clear consequences.
I don’t know what I should do? My 14-year-old daughter was arrested for stealing a car tonight. She said she had no knowledge of the car being stolen. I believe her about that but she still lied about whom she was going to be with. She told me her friend (one I have met a few times) sister was going to pick her up and take my daughter and her friend to a movie and I would pick them up. She was picked up at 730pm. I see the car actually pull up, and it was the same car she was in when she got arrested. At 8:30ish I got a phone call from the police station. I went to pick her up. She was released with a court date. On the way home, she told me that she didn’t know the car was stolen, but admitted she lied about going to a movie with her friend. She said that some girls from her school wanted to drive around and listen to music. She wanted to go, but didn’t think we would allow her to go so she lied. I grounded her for one week (no friends, computer (except for school related), phone, or television) and an early bed time of 9pm. My husband (her father) thinks I am being too lenient and is just pissed off at the whole situation. I just feel she has to go to court on top of this, so she feels bad enough as it is. She has never done something so stupid before. She has always been trustworthy except for a few little white lies now and then. Does good in school and does her chores without trouble. So I don’t know what else I should do in this situation.
One week of grounding is lenient. This young woman could have been shot or gotten into an accident of some sort. Doing a simple grounding doesn't do justice to the danger that she put herself in, her friends in and ultimately you her parent in. The problem is if she had not gotten pulled over, then you would have never known about this. So you don't actually know if she is trustworthy. I would suggest you take this much more seriously than you are, because if she doesn't learn her lesson now she will start doing worse things.