Men do need to step it up
When I meet with couples I often hear again and again "my husband is this...my husband is that." It largely relates to two issues.
2. Lack of motivation
I don't just hear these things in counseling sessions. My wife has relayed to me that some of her friends tell her of their husbands that are depressed or moody and the wife feels powerless to do anything about it. She resigns herself to simply have to deal with it. It's frustrating for me as a helper. I want to tell men they are more than their feelings. They are stronger than they feel. When we let our feelings rule the day we become miserable and often the people we are in relationship with are miserable because of us. It's not fair to your kids or your wife. There is ZERO shame in seeking out someone to have a conversation with. Doing so could be the thing that reignites the spark in your marriage. It could be the thing that reconnects you with your kids. It could be the thing that makes you finally feel whole. If you are looking for resources, contact me and I can direct you to someone that can get you back on a path to being a better person.