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Attraction is important

March 20, 2017

     I often talk with couples about what brings them together. One answer that often comes up relates to physical attraction. Some people say that physical attraction is a shallow reason for a couple to like one another. I agree that if that was the only reason a couple is together you

 

shouldn't be together. Physical attraction is one of many things that a couple should consider when thinking about getting married. I was asked the below question by one part of a couple. 

 

Question:

 

     I'll try to sum this up, recently my fiance and i had a well needed talk where she confirmed what I have been thinking for the longest. She hasn't been able to give me the love she knows shes capable of due to one of her past relationships. Meaning she hasn't been able to love anyone the same or as much as she loved him. Also found out that in addition to this a partial reason shes not as affectionate is because i'm not her typical type, meaning taller dark and muscular and from the beginning she struggled with that.  

     Now, lets get somethings in the open. I have never had this issue in my life. You would think i am a weird looking obese dude when in fact, i'm the opposite. i'm an handsome guy, nice build, not overweight, i can get in the gym and get more cut up i admit, but i'm no where near sloppy in fact i'm very active in the gym i'm there like 3-4 times a week!

     So needless to say i'm crushed, my spirit, confidence and i'm trying to not question her love for me at this point or if she was ever in love really in the first place. like i really don't know how to feel. but i do know i feel different about her right now, and its scary. i mean i've given her my all, and to know she hasn't is really hurtful. the most positive thing about this though is that all the thoughts and intuition i had about this situation were correct and its good to know i'm not crazy.

     She told me that even though we have hit this hurdle she cant see herself being with anyone else and shes willing to do whatever it takes to make us work. but right now, i cant get past this sting of the hurt i'm feeling

thanks for listening

 

Answer:


     Physical attraction is important in a relationship. If she isn't really attracted to you then you should not be getting married to her. What will happen when someone more attractive shows up that she prefers? You catch my drift.

 

     It sounds from your description that she has too much emotional baggage from her past that is preventing her from moving forward. I would not spend much more time with that. Mainly because if you get married and then she gets unhappy, she will have two reasons to leave you. 1. she never really loved you 2. you were never really her type. These will be huge in the future and in my opinion are reasons that you should not continue on in the relationship. 

 

Doc David

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